Occasionally, Wonkette doesn’t load quite right. I’m going to blame CSS. But Wonkette is unique in that even when it looks wrong, it looks so right.

Occasionally, Wonkette doesn’t load quite right. I’m going to blame CSS. But Wonkette is unique in that even when it looks wrong, it looks so right.

perma ∞ 10:06 on 01.14.2010

 
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Three Word Phrase (via Drawn!)
perma ∞ 18:51 on 08.07.2009

 
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Strange presidential threats, then and now.

“Mr. Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He’d better have a bodyguard.”
—Sen. Jesse Helms
vs.
And if we were a “monstrous plume of hot rock” waiting around to make a really big humanity-ending splash, we’d probably think that a visit by the leader of the free world was a pretty exciting moment. Just sayin’, Mr. President, something to consider …
—New York magazine’s Daily Intel

perma ∞ 18:03 on 08.07.2009

 
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Here’s your chance to see the cheapest television show ever made: YouTube videos interspersed with commentary by two guys in front of a solid backdrop.

Based on the pair’s 7-part online series Prank War and sounding a bit like a cross between Punk’d and America’s Funniest Home Videos, the 30-minute weekly show “showcases the best pranks ever caught on camera and posted online.” The featured pranks will all be user-generated, “with no help from producers, professional editors or cameramen.”

Maybe, just maybe, they’ll do some voiceover work like Bob Saget used to on the old America’s Funniest Home Videos?? I used to love when he would do the dog’s interior monologue while that mutt was just cold runnin’ around like crazy with a magazine or a bag on its head or whatever.

perma ∞ 14:39 on 08.07.2009

 
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Bollywood Hero picks up with Kattan, who wants leading-man roles that might allow him to “fight the bad guys and sleep with attractive women,” stewing impotently at his agent over a meal. The agent believes that the actor’s current gig playing a “space goat” on a science-fiction show is the best that he should expect. This is the point at which the fictional Kattan parts ways with the real one. Taking poetic license, the show’s creators have somewhat overstated the man’s prospects. Space goat can’t sound half bad to a performer whose most notable recent works include Gym Teacher: The Movie (which aired on Nickelodeon), Christmas in Wonderland (which grossed $79,000), and Delgo (which Movieline recently described as “the biggest animated box-office failure ever”). Kattan the fictional schlemiel wonders why he hasn’t had the career of Keanu Reeves. This is the point at which Bollywood Hero reveals itself as farce. Kattan the actual schlemiel must know that the appropriate question regards why he hasn’t had the career of Rob Schneider.

Bollywood Hero reviewed. - By Troy Patterson - Slate Magazine

Ouch.

Being a recognizable SNL alumnus is the comedy equivalent of belonging to Skull and Bones: powerful friends will make sure you continue to have opportunities, no matter how ill-suited to the task you’ve proved yourself.

perma ∞ 23:20 on 08.06.2009

 
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Imagine, the very idea of dropping a dime on fellow citizens dredges up some of the most bleak episodes in American history, from Colonial times when King George III’s rule was absolute to George Orwell’s 1984, where citizens were monitored by Big Brother.

Wonkette : Sell Out Your Friends And Lovers To The White House ‘Enemies List’

Yes, the fictional work of George Orwell was certainly one of the bleakest episodes in American Actual History.

perma ∞ 18:59 on 08.06.2009

 
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Holliday is a good hitter. He struggled early on, but he started to get hot right before he left Oakland. That doesn’t mean he’ll hit like that the rest of the season. Playing in Oakland was a downer for him, because you’re playing on a team that doesn’t excite you. It’s a boring team to watch. They either strike out, walk or try to hit HRs. Jack Cust is a typical Oakland hitter. He either walks or hits home runs. It’s just not an interesting team and that had an effect on Holliday.

Chat: Chat with Joe Morgan - SportsNation - ESPN

It’s almost a cliche to take a close look at Morgan’s “arguments” and then refute them, and I’ll never do it as well as the inimitable Fire Joe Morgan. But I can’t help myself.

Oakland is last in the AL in home runs, eighth in walks, and tenth in strikeouts. Jack Cust, who is decent at hitting homers and great at striking out, is not typical of the lineup at all.

It’s one thing to not understand the point of what the Athletics tried to do in the early ’00s. It’s another (somewhat worse) thing to refuse purposefully to understand it. And it is yet another (much worse) thing to offer up your intentional misunderstanding of that philosophy in lieu of knowing what the hell the team is currently doing. Cheese and rice, Joe; they’re paying you for this!

The A’s are definitely bad and arguably boring, but neither is because they are playing Morgan’s dumbed-down, intellectually dishonest version of “Moneyball.”

perma ∞ 18:32 on 08.05.2009

 
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It’s a brutal world out there in the blogosphere,” Milbank said. “I’m often surprised by the ferocity out there, but I probably shouldn’t be.

Washington Post Kills ‘Mouthpiece’ Video Series - washingtonpost.com

Given that you called the Secretary of State a “mad bitch” it’s a little disengenuous to play the “blogosphere is lowering the discourse at the expense of us real journalists” card, Dana.

WaPo is right to stay away from original humor though. Doing cheap, timely, topical humor requires the ability to say, “We missed the mark. Badly. It happens—we throw this crap together in an hour with no budget and no staff and sometimes what we intend as irony is just offensive. Please realize that we will offend you again, however, because if we never accidentally cross the line that means we’re probably not geting close enough to it.”

[NB: I apologize to Mouthpiece if they did in fact take more than an hour to prepare and produce it, and had a sizable budget and large staff at their disposal. Though if they had those three things going for them and what we saw was still the final product there are other reasons why they shouldn’t be humorists besides gutlessness.]

perma ∞ 18:12 on 08.05.2009

 
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perma ∞ 07:03 on 07.17.2009

 
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perma ∞ 13:13 on 06.14.2009

 
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